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New Year, New Me? Nope!

     I know celebrating New Year is a big time for everyone to evaluate their lives and what they want to change. What is it about New Year that makes us suddenly want to change? What is so magical about changing from December 31st to January 1st? People in Denmark smash plates, eat grapes in Spain, or ring bells in Japan. It is an event celebrated universally across the world. So what makes it so different from any other day of the week?
     In previous years, I've always created goals for myself. I've told myself the same thing everyone else tells themselves. This year will be different. This year, I will really do all the stuff I want to do. And then February comes around, and March, and then before I know it I've forgotten I even created goals for myself. I don't think I can honestly say I've ever actually achieved the goals I planned.
     This year, I thought long and hard about goals I would like to achieve in the new year. I got out of the notebook, the markers, the journal. I was ready. Then, I had a very brutal, eye-opening conversation with my boyfriend. He is the type of person we all wish we could be. The kind that does what he wants, when he wants. The type that knows who he is and is comfortable with himself. He very kindly informed me that absolutely nothing magical was going to happen at midnight on New Year's Eve, that all I was setting myself up for was misery. At first, I was crushed. Understandably.    
     Overnight though, I gave it some serious thought. All we're doing when we create New Year goals is telling ourselves we weren't good enough the prior year. Why does it have to be a 'new me'? Wasn't the 'old me' good enough? Thinking back over my 2017, I'm thinking of all the bad things, when I should be remembering the good. I should be thinking of what I learned and how I've grown in 2017. The idea of creating goals for yourself isn't a bad thing. I set goals for my students and for myself all the time. We should all have goals we're working to reach. The problem is, we shouldn't wait until January 1st to make these goals. Why are August or June or March any different than January? I should be setting goals year round.
     Once I came to this realization, I began to understand the silliness of it all. I shouldn't be reflecting back on 2017 negatively, creating a long list of all the things I'm going to change. I should be creating a long list of what I've learned in 2017 and how I plan to continue growing in 2018. Set small goals. Monthly goals. Even weekly goals. Give yourself room to achieve your goals. Most importantly, congratulate yourself on surviving 2017, don't berate yourself for not doing it perfectly. No one is perfect. No one is ever going to be perfect. The goal is to be happy with the imperfections.
     I spent all of New Year's Day running back and forth to my notebook reflecting on all the amazing things I accomplished in 2017, and how proud I was of myself. It was hands down the best New Year's I've ever had. I did think about new goals for 2018, but small goals. Weekly goals. Also, instead of thinking of what went wrong before, I thought of how good it did go, but how it could be GREAT next time. It's important that we be positive. Be happy. Love ourselves. Now that I understand I don't have chuck the 'old me' in the garbage and start fresh 2018, I'm happier and much less stressed. I encourage everyone to give it a try!

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